Failed expectations can lead to feelings of betrayal. Betrayal leads to distrust. Healing happens with trust!

Have you ever experienced the pain of betrayal and dishonesty? It hurts beyond belief. It raises so many questions on how it can happen. How can someone we trust hurt us so much?

We trust people by believing they will never hurt us. We see the possibilities of getting hurt as fear and ignore it by not believing it will become a reality. That is being dishonest with ourselves.

People are dishonest with us when we are being dishonest with ourselves — hiding true emotions — not wanting to confront or acknowledge them. We stick them in the back of our minds, hoping they will go away.

We can be too afraid to be honest with ourselves. There is always fear with truth. Honesty can hurt.

Dishonesty divides. Honesty unites. Bonds in a relationship are strengthened when we are able to be honest with ourselves. The truth will test any bonds we are forming in a relationship. Dishonesty prevents bonds from forming.

Betrayal can make you feel lonely and forgotten, as if what you want does not matter to anyone. Your pain tells you it matters to you. It matters to God. It matters to your soul. People who betray the trust you put in them to keep you safe may be unable to give you what you want.

Maturity matters in a time of loneliness. Loneliness is a time of crisis. Betrayal is a time of crises. A crisis is a time when we become very aware of the damage done to our lives by betrayal. How you react to that crisis matters.

The power and authority we exert over our own lives matter in a time of crises. Damage needs to be repaired, and you cannot rely on those who caused it to repair it. It is up to you. Make the choice for repairing the damage and forgiveness, not for retaliation against them.

Start by learning to be honest with yourself – even if it hurts. It gives you control over your pain. Your honesty can heal old wounds of betrayal!

Dreams Change

Why do I hurt? 

Honesty Heals Old Wounds of Betrayal 

The Story of Mental Illness 

Managing Expectations 

_______________________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________________

When dreams change, we change with them. If you want to change, change your hopes and dreams. Set goals for yourself. Achievements are rewarding!

We go into life with expectations of being rewarded. Instead, we are hurt and experience pain and devastation. It shatters our hopes and dreams, leaving us with pain we could never imagine.

Shattered hopes and dreams cause feelings of loss and grief that leave behind feelings of longing for what was lost. Those longings can be turned into new dreams. Dreams change through loss.

It is not easy to let new hopes in when you are suffering and struggling to understand the loss and grief pouring in — unable to stop it. It takes real strength and effort to open your mind to new dreams trying to push past all the pain.

Our lives are built on hopes and dreams for the future. But that is the problem — it is for the future — it will not solve the problems of today.

There is a lot to be learned from the past and what is happening today because of it. That learning carries us into the future. If you do not use what you learn, you will not create a future. You will get stuck in the pain and suffering for all of eternity. Your life will have no meaning.

Learning heals us. New hopes and dreams have much to teach us. Learning from them leads to change. Learning gives us validation and change can lead to acceptance.

Dreams create expectations that give us guidance. Get control over them. Do not let them control you or others. Reality shatters our dreams and takes over in giving us guidance. When we follow truth and honesty, reality exceeds the expectations of our dreams.

Suicide happens over our struggles with self-image. We can control and manage the way we see ourselves. Not through self-judgments that build us up, but through hard work and dedication to ourselves. Our first loyalty is to ourselves and improving our character through honesty and integrity. It begins with seeing ourselves as others see us and learning objectivity.

Seeing ourselves as ugly and stupid causes pain, but that is the way some people will see us. In a divided world, we will be seen as ugly and beautiful, stupid and smart, weak and strong. People will judge us through their own ignorance or intelligence.

When someone shatters your self-esteem, they are giving you the opportunity to rebuild it. It gives you a strength you cannot foresee or imagine until it happens. When you build your identity, you gain control over it. You may never see yourself as who you want to be, but in the end, you will stop caring about the way some see you.

When you control your identity, you build a strong healthy self-esteem that does not shatter. It takes time and patience while learning who you are. Every day you live is a new beginning.

In a divided world, feelings of inequality are normal and human. We are all human. In that way we have equality.

Building self-esteem is a battle. Living is a battle. Learning is a battle. Those battles are won with determination and perseverance.

Push through the pain, the fear, and the frustrations. Pain is a battle you win with knowledge. The more you learn, the less it hurts.

We can become so focused on getting what we want that we ignore everything that happens along the way. Hopes and dreams create expectations. Relationships create expectations. We make choices based on our expectations and forget they can be wrong.

Expectations mixed with hopes and dreams create a picture-perfect image of life and relationships in our minds. Being wrong about what we see leads to conflict when others fail our expectations. We are a part of that picture-perfect life we imagine. Learn to manage your expectations by living up to your own expectations of yourself first.

Our needs and responsibilities create expectations too. Putting your needs before others’ needs will cause you to foresee conflict. We can focus on maintaining relationships because we can foresee what happens without it. Conflict has consequences. Not taking responsibility for your needs has consequences. These consequences are far more severe than not living up to someone’s expectations.  

Hopes are realized through choices we make — not through relationships or conflict that surfaces because of our expectations. Managing our expectations can teach us how to avoid conflict and actually create a perfect life that may look far different from the picture in our minds. Expect reality to look different from the picture-perfect image in your mind. Reality is not perfect.

Life is full of doubts and uncertainties. Anything can happen. You cannot control it through your expectations. All you can do is foresee all possibilities — good and bad. Then be prepared for all of it. It will teach you how to manage your expectations.

The only certainty in life is what you are able to do. Learn your potential and limitations. Your abilities in life will create expectations you can manage by preparing for success and failure outside of relationships.

Perfection is not achieved through our thoughts alone. It is achieved through our actions. Perfection is about the satisfaction of our needs. Sometimes we need to sacrifice our wants to achieve perfection.

Mental illness has a history. It tells a story that began a long time ago, before us and the life we have created through our intelligence and sanity.

To know and understand the origins of mental illness, you need to know and understand the past — a past we have never experienced. There is a past we cannot see, except in our minds. Mental illness shows us that our minds can travel to places that can cause us pain.

Mental illness begins with pain you cannot begin to understand. It causes you to struggle in ways you cannot begin to understand. Mental illness begins with an ignorance that has become buried deep down in our souls. The only way to reach it is through your pain. It will feel like your heart is being ripped out from your chest.

What you do not know can hurt you. Lies, deceit, and manipulations can hurt you. It is pain and a past you can become trapped in with no foreseeable way out of.

When someone lies to you, you do not know it. That is ignorance — the reality of it. You know it when you learn the truth. By then, it is too late. The damage has already been done.

Lies cause damage you can see and damage you cannot see. The damage you cannot see can travel through time, generations, and evolution. Lies prevent us from acting on truth and learning where it leads us to. Truth can create a very different society — a society not plagued by mental illness.

Mental illness affects everyone. It has a stronger effect on newer generations than past generations. It eats away at our confidence and self-esteem. It prevents prosperity. It robs us of our safety and security. All of that takes away our sanity.

All of that compounds our pain. It just keeps piling on, leaving us begging for mercy. Sometimes it leaves us praying for death.

Does that sound like mental illness to you? If it doesn’t, you have not seen it. You do not know it. If it does, you know the struggle it takes to live. The story of mental illness hides in the history of our pain. Our pain takes us back to the past where it all began in our minds.